Why Men Must Lead the Home

Dr. Randy White

In a very obvious way, the fall had a cascading effect on our relationship with God. The fall severed humanity’s intimate ties with God and introduced death as a consequence for sin. However, our relationship with God was not the only relationship that was affected. Even on the scale of a one-to-one, man-to-woman relationship, the curse of the fall multiples itself like a cancer.

For instance, when shame and blame worm their way into a marriage, the marriage may start to become consumed from the inside out, like an infestation of termites. Sayings such as, “You always say things like that,” could one day earn the reply, “Well, fine then. I’m done. Have a nice life.” The curses of the fall will repeat and replicate unless someone takes charge of the situation. And although political correctness would dictate otherwise in our current culture, the person the Bible mandates to take charge of the home is the man.

Who’s the head of the home?

Genesis 3:16 couldn’t be any clearer about God's intended structure for the home. After the fall, God says to Eve, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” And just so we don’t think this verse is outdated because of the time it was spoken, the Apostle Paul also reiterates God’s intentions about 4000 years later: “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1 Corinthians 11:3).

Today, I believe the lack of home leadership by men has resulted in grave consequences for both home and society and the biblical imperative of masculine headship has been ignored to our peril. When we forget that man must rule, multiple problems arise.

What happens when men are responsible household leaders

The actions of a man within his home, both good and bad, have great repercussions for his family. For instance, a wife can witness her worry significantly decrease if her husband steps up to the leadership role granted to him by God. On the whole, women tend to worry more than men. And when they’re married to a man who’s more comfortable ruling the TV remote rather than beneficently ruling their household, she has every right to worry! Can we make the mortgage payment this month? Is the roof going to leak when it rains? Will the house get robbed? The questions and worry could be endless.

Women, how freeing would it be if your husband chose to lead your home well?

When a man assumes the proper mantle of leadership within his home, when he takes care of his family the way God takes care of us, a wife ought to feel released from ever-present worry. She ought to be able to relax, fully believing that her husband is taking care of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs that he is able to take care of. And a wife who refuses to let go of the worry is, in effect, refusing to trust the leadership of her husband.

Men: lead well!

Certainly, a book could be written on this subject, especially because it seems to me that so many Christian men today don’t know what it means to lead their homes well. Some may have grown up without a father-figure who modeled that kind of home leadership. Or life has run them down and they've become content with a status quo home. While others just feel ashamed that they are not doing as well as they could, so the motivation to try is lost.

It is essential, in the Christian home, that men lead that home to be well-ordered, under the headship of Jesus Christ, serving the Lord. No home can be perfect, and the husband will have to decide what can be fixed and what will remain broken. But the conscientious husband will take the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of his family as a first priority.

No one said leading is easy, but the Bible does say that leading is the man’s responsibility.

Men, it is time to ask ourselves: how well are we leading?

The preceding post is an adapted excerpt from my upcoming book, 30 Things You Need to Know about Your Bible (If You Claim to Know Your Bible).